Saturday, January 28, 2006


Okay, I've been on Copaxone for over a year (62 weeks to be exact, since I write that on each weekly page of my shot diary.). I have only missed my daily shot maybe 5 times.
Lately when I take my shot my daughter (5 years old) keeps coming over to ask me where I took the shot, if she wasn't there to watch me, and then she will say, "Oh, poor Mommy. You'll be okay." I say to her, "Honey, I'm okay. It's okay." Because I try so hard not to let her think it's hurting me.
Then one day last week she said, "Mommy, when I'm older will I have to take shots too?"
Oh my I hope not!!! And that's all I can say to her, "I hope not honey!"
I can't lie and say, "No, you'll never have to!" Because I just don't know. If my parents had told me that I wouldn't have had to go through all that I've gone through in the last three years, I'd probably be pretty bitter, maybe.
All I can think to say to her is "They'll be a cure and if not a cure, medicine like this helps."
Gees, I hate this! Not the having to take shots (I loath those! ;-)), not the living with MS, but trying to explain it to people and especially my children. My son is 18 months old now. He'll be asking the same questions soon enough. I just want to have better answers for them.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Hanging in there

It's been so long since I wrote. I just thought I should write an update.
I've been so busy with work and then sneaking in time with my family. The last thing I want to do after spending 9 to 10 hours on my computer at work is get on one at home.
My son is now 18 months and oh my he is so much fun to watch!! He's really smart and talks in sentences. Of course they sound like blended words, but people can understand him.
My daughter is still learning how to share, being at that transition stage between being a baby herself and moving to "Princess" stage. 5 is a tough age. She's so smart, she finishes her work at school before anyone else and the teachers don't know what to do with her. Give her more, I say. She loves to learn. I love watching my children embracing life.

Work has been exciting, but busy. We're a small, growing company and I'm one of the 4 contributor's to write our values and purpose. How exciting is that? It can only get better. I hope. Of course, there are always challenges.

I get home from a long day and feel like I'm going to collapse. I don't know why it doesn't affect me during the day. Well, in the late afternoons I've been hitting a plateau, but it's been manageable. I know I need to get moving again. I need to walk.

My team (Pamela's Team) is getting ready to participate in the MS Walk again this year. And people from my work are considering joining! I am so thrilled about that. We have a small team, but do our best to raise money. I know we can reach our goal this year. I'm just so touched that they participate every year with me. They're a great group of people.

The depression is pretty under control now. The fourth med was the charm, I believe. I still have my moments. But it's ten times better than it was. Now I feel like I'm walking through life in awe of the people around me, particularly my kids. It's better this way to see the joy and life in others rather than always worry. Who knew? HA!

I hope you're all well. I've had some cold spot symptoms, the numbness and fatigue. But other than that, I've been doing really well. Copaxone is definitely the drug for me. Just still really am hoping for the pill form. But, who isn't? :-)