Monday, August 17, 2009

Affirmations & Frustrations

I just logged in to enter my new affirmation and I hear my daughter is torturing my son by not leaving his room. Then she smacked him. SIGH. Some day, he's going to haul off and let her have it and she'll look at me all bewildered. I think I'll just look at her with that look that says, "What did you expect?"

After I write this affirmation I'll go up and do the, "Slumber party this weekend can still be cancelled" threat - which never works, but it's something.

I found this quote today - I can't find who said it, but it's everywhere on the internet... "Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

I think that says it all about my life this past week and my new today. I'm happier than I have been in so long and more hopeful then ever. I'm still cautious, but my heart is soaring! :)

With that, here is my afirmation: "I am a strong, intelligent woman and I can be honest and take risks without fear, but with love and courage."

Have a great night!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Saturday Affirmation

I think for today I can affirm that I have a dog that will always lick my toes and my feet or anywhere on my legs or face - though I try so hard to get her to stop. I should teach her to be a Care dog. Of course if I ever needed her to pull me around anywhere she'd drag me 100 mph by the hair, most likely.

So to prevent that I've been walking again - not that I wasn't walking before - but taking this crazy Beagle for walks. Trying to get away from the fear and heartache I'm experiencing.

All it's done for me so far is give me a blister on my heel. Oh, and make me realize that my dog has gotten out of her "training" mode. I need to train her again. I also need to train the kids on how to train her. For right now, walking I can do - its the fastest thing I can do to get out of the house without thinking too much.

Ok - affirmation for today - "I'm a good person and I am trusting the process of life."

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Strength - not for the faint of heart

It has been so long since I wrote. I've been going through relationship issues. Not the best time in my life. The MS - well, it's still there. I think the fact that it's there is why I'm so scared of my future alone. Wondering who would ever love an overweight, 42 year old woman with more facial hair then she should have.

I spoke to a very good friend today and my (still) husband. They both told me that I'm strong. I tried to explain that every since being diagnosed I've slowly been feeling more and more scared of my future and actually maybe needing someone to take care of me.

I'm a control freak. I like to be in control and for the first time I lost it. My heart lost it too. And now I have to gain it back and push the fact that I have MS out of my mind and not let it deter my future.

So - maybe I'll start with a daily affirmation on here. Or at least a weekly one.
Today's is - I'm a beutiful loving woman, courageously loving myself and trusting others. YIKES! That's a new one!

I am also going to dedicate a lot more time to my babies. My son is in Kindergarten now and having a rough time. I hate that. I want to make them feel safe - even if I don't. :(

I also realize - My son doesn't really understand what is wrong with me yet. I don't want him to think sadness is a big part of his life since I am always sad. My poor kids. :(

Well - I'll repeat my affirmation - "I'm a beautiful loving woman, courageously loving myself and trusting others."

I hope anyone who reads this still can do an affirmation too. Take care!