Friday, April 27, 2007

They're baaaacckkk!

Well, I'm having those "pains" again. The ones that travel throughout my body.

I'm fine if it's every once in a while, but this is day two of them hitting anywhere and everywhere. I feel like someone has a voodoo doll of me again. I'm sure there are many - like the hubby said last time, "Which one could it be?" Nice.

These are particularly bad, so I broke out the Neurontin last night. I can't take that stuff... I'm just too busy and that lays me out cold. So wish there was something better! I do truly believe now that sleep does help. I believe this now that I don't get so much of it and I'm really hurting.

My hubby told me to take Ibuprofen. It just doesn't help me that he won't read up on ANY of this stuff. I know he means well, but then if he meant well, he'd read up on why that doesn't help with neuropathic pain.

I could be catching a cold though, so that could be why these are particularly bad. It's always something. And it's depressing me. I think I've cried every day this week... and no, it's not "that time" - sorry gentlemen. :-)

I just read Erik's blog about his recent visit with the stupid doctor! I think that's just horrible!! There has to be someone who will LISTEN to him.
The funny thing about the doc insisting that the spinal tap is the end all diagnosis for MS... I was told by my Neurologist that the lesions are the sure sign. If he doesn't have that, then I don't know. I just hate that he and others are being treated like a cow going through the freaking heard! Jiminy Christmas!!

I remember that after my spinal tap, my old neuro didn't really say anything differently than she had said before. So I don't know what that really told her. Other than that I'm deathly afraid of spinal taps!

I don't get these doctors. You'd think someone would want to try to remedy something out there so they could get their names in a journal somewhere. Particularly the lowest of the class. ;-)

I hope the rest of you are doing well. Really!! Please take care!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

The Craze Has Died Down

Well - I've turned 40 and survived (so far), my team walked in the 2007 MS Walk and raised over $2000 and I've now actually had some time to read up on some MS blogs and research.

Wow for Erik! Gosh, I know this is gonna sound crazy... but I hope that he finds out it's Lyme... because it sounds like that is something that is curable or at least more controllable. But to go through all of the MS hell and have it not be MS! That's just nuts!!
As I was reading through all of that there is that part of me going, "hm, I wonder if I have Lyme disease." With my folks having their huge property in rural Missouri, I've had many experiences with ticks. But none of those same symptoms that Erik has had.

It sucks that he didn't find a good doc till recently. I wish him lots and lots of luck and hope he gets healthy soon!!!

A friend of mine got Mono recently. I looked it up - again. I think I wrote about this a while ago, that my sister's friend's husband (:-)) has MS and he had mono as a teen also. He was whom I first heard the Mono linked to MS theory. So of course when my friend told me he got Mono I got really scared.

If there is a connection, can he get MS? Even though he's older - not a teenager - is it possible?
I read about the connection between the Epstein-Barr Virus and MS. How EBV causes Mono and how we all carry that virus even after having the infection. I found some more info on EBV, but I'm looking for more information on EBV, mono and MS too... if we carry the EBV virus, can we give others mono, even years and years later? And also, can you get mono again if you've had it before? If we can give others EBV, like our kids, then is that the tie to the possible hereditary links to MS? Again - don't want to mislead anyone - I have NO clue what I'm talking about. Just curious. I really can't wait to talk to my neuro again!! That is for sure.

Also what I found, is that there are a couple of people who have done studies on this. There seems to be a big correlation. So I'm really hoping that they can figure something out here. If they could even find a vaccine for EBV - then they could possibly lower the risk of our kids getting MS. Could you imagine? That alone would be huge!
If they were able to find that correlation, could they come up with something to restore cells I'm not sure on that... again NOT a researcher. Just hopeful!

I hope you're all well. I apologize for my recent pity parties. The birthday was just like any other day. I hit rock bottom that week... but I'm 40 now - feel no different then I did before... so life goes on. Thanks for all your support too!

Take care!!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Tired Left Side, Blurry Eyes Revealed and Hating Ants - All in a Days Post

If my left side is tired, does that mean my right brain is tired?
I'm a left side of the brain person I guess... my right side is functioning well. My left side isn't. Is that how that works?
All weekend my left side has been so tired. I feel knots and aches and just tired on the left side of my body, it's just strange.
Now, my left side has always been the first sufferer of my MS flare-ups. Poor left side. And I'm sure my abuse of it, by carrying my 2 1/2 year old son, my laptop bag, my purse (that weighs a ton all on its own) and anything else I can grab, has not made my left side very happy. But this weekend, it's been unusually weak.

You've all read about my twitches and sputters and cold spots and numbness and jabs of pain throughout my body. But this weekend, actually it started on Friday, I felt my index finger "stick". At the time my left side hurt from my ear down my neck through my arm and I thought, well I just have a pinched nerve. LOL!! That cracks me up!! Since that was what I thought I had when I found out it was MS instead.

Anyway, off topic... I went to move my arm and my index finger was flexed, I guess you could say, or spasmed in a way that I knew I wasn't moving it in the position it was in. When I went to move it back with the rest of the gang (my other fingers) it wouldn't. Lasted about 30 seconds. And of course 30 seconds is a long time when your fingers aren't listening to your brain.

Maybe it's stress and truly being tired, but just another little spasm of "Hey! You have MS!"

Went to the eye doc the other day and yep, I have MS, so the blurred vision "can be somewhat from that" but I'm also "getting up there in age" so it's time to wear my glasses more frequently. The quotes are from my eye doc! NICE -huh? LOL!! So he not only upped my prescription but said I needed bifocals! And you know what, he's right. He had me hold a card with the little tiny letters in front of me and look up to see the letters on the wall. When I would switch between the two, my eyes had to focus like crazy. But then he added lenses to the bottom of these really sexy test glasses and what a difference!! My only concern was THE LINE! But I'm paying $225 for glasses so I don't get the line. Ah, growing old is fun - and expensive. No wonder my car is so pricey!

Finally for tonight, I'll tell you about my biggest pet peeve - and they're NOT pets. I've never owned an ant farm, no would I get one for my son, just for fear that they'd break free and roam around my house with the other SPRING ants that break into my house every year. UGH!! Frustrating little thieves! We're out of the bug spray, so I've been spraying Clorox bleach kitchen cleaner on them. Thus killing them and sanitizing at the same time.
But, since I've been going crazy tonight killing ants, I can't stop itching!! I get the same thing if I see a spider. Any creepy crawlies and I'm totally wigged out. My poor kids - they think I'm nuts! Or rather know I am.
My daughter is so brave, she picks them up and puts them in her hand and I freak and say, get rid of them and scrub your hands. Poor baby, she's going to be like Howard Hughes if I don't stop telling them to wash their hands all the time.

Thank you again to Stephen for your personal story. Again, puts everything into perspective.
I'm feeling much better. Less doom and gloom. Which, sad to say I think is really hitting hard a certain time of the month. If it's not one thing it's another. :-)

I hope you're all well. Please take care and Happy Spring sans Ants!