Monday, September 05, 2005

Stress Factor - The Game

Stress factor 1: I was sick all last week. Still have the cold, but it's kind of diminishing. But I went to work on Monday even though I felt awful, then I left and worked from home. Thus making me work until about 7:30 instead of resting.
I worked from home on all the rest of the week, except on Wednesday when I could barely get out of bed.
Having a virus and MS, I think that's a recipe for extreme fatigue.

Stress factor 2 and 3: Friday woke up to find my son had the "d" word so he couldn't go to daycare. Called the folks to ask if they'd come earlier and kept both kids home for my folks to watch while I took my husband, Bill, to the hospital for his surgery.
He had the hernia surgery and we were at the hospital till about 6pm. So that was an all day thing.
Now I need to take care of everything in the house. Bill can't do anything because of the surgery, except shout at the baseball game, of course. :-) So I think just the thought of the everything is freaking me out. Should I cut the lawn? Or let it grow? How much can grass grow in a month? If I were to cut the lawn, now is when I should while my folks are hear to watch the kids. Or do I come home from work to cut the lawn and leave the kids as daycare till I'm done?
Decisions, decisions!

Stress factor 4: My daughter. She has been good in the mornings and not in the afternoons, until this morning, when my stress level hit it's peak. I feel so bad for her because she's so jealous of her little brother, but is so awful to him that it's really hard to be there for her when she's being like that.
My parents are helping, but they leave tomorrow. I don't know how much I'll be able to put up with after a long day at work and having to bathe all three of my kids.

Three you say? Yes, when I have to also bathe my husband, I have three kids!
But, it's all payback... Hopefully if I ever need it, he'll wash my butt too one day! LOL!!!

Stress Factor 5: Had another site reaction last night. It was quick, but I think it was a culmination of everything. My face got really hot and flushed and I had the tightness in my throat and neck. I did my almost cry thing and sat back, Bill helped get me distracted by putting something interesting on TV and then I was fine about 15 minutes later. Whew! Still hate the freaking things, but if all I've had problems with is fatigue since being on that crazy drug, then I'll take it.

Okay, so the little girl just woke up from her nap, which is a feat in itself, that's a plus. And she just made me some coffee from her Mrs. Potts tea set. She's the cutest darn thing in the world. She and my son make me smile and cry all at the same time.
How can that be? How can kids infuriate and then just be the best joy you'll ever know? I would never trade it.

Yes, I'd prefer having to take care of everything when I'm not fighting a cold and when I'm not so fatigued, which could be from the cold, and without kids who are so argumentative, even my 14 month old is argumentative and he can't talk yet! :-) But how boring would my life be? Plus, I think every challenge I face since I've known about my MS, just makes me push that much harder not to let it take me over.

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Pamela

How the heck do you do it?? I am 31, recently married and have MS plus a few other illnesses and I wonder if I can handle having one child let alone 3. Having anything plus MS even a child or a cold or a recovering husband is enough to push me over the edge. You are brave and strong!

-Carrie