Saturday, December 09, 2006

Wild Ride

Well, it's been a wild ride lately!
Health wise, November wasn't a great friend to me.
I had the upper respiratory that caused the MS flare ups for about two weeks, then as I was just getting over that I got either the stomach flu or food poisoning. It was really horrible. When it first hit, it was awful, I thought I was going to die. I was grateful to get through that night.

As an aside, I have to tell you about what I remember most about my day of recovery.
I spent most of it lying in my bed all day (if I wasn't in the bathroom - okay - maybe that's TMI) and watching the leaves fall from my beautiful Bradford Pear trees in our front yard. By the end of the day, they were almost completely bare. A cold front had come through.
I had the windows open that day because it was really warm and I could hear the leaves falling. What a fantastic sound that is!! It says Fall!!
Then of course the cold front said Winter! :-)

During my illnesses, I was trying to work from the office as much as much as possible. And when I didn't, I was given so much grief.
I went to my manager one of the days and just bawled. I said (I'm paraphrasing here), "They have no idea! I know I look fine, but they have no idea how much my legs hurt or how uncomfortable these stabbing pains can be or how exhausted I am!"
He's such a great person, he has always supported my MS, so he, of course was extremely understanding and it just felt really good to let all that out.
Of course I felt like a moron afterwards, but so it was.

Another two weeks later and guess what, another upper respiratory infection! Only this time I didn't have any flare ups. I also popped Airborne a lot to see if it would help.
I mostly worked from home to keep others from getting sick.

In between the illnesses I just was getting fed up with the negative people in the office and still having to be nice to the "Up your meds" nasty person. So I updated my resume and posted it on two Job sites and then I looked up careers at companies I was interested in.
I found the perfect one and I interviewed and I'm in. I got the offer this past week and I gave my notice this week.

It was very hard because I explained to my boss that the reason I looked was because of the nasties at work, but the reason I'm leaving is because this opportunity is something I really want to do.
He made a joke to "stay 4 years here and then go to the other."
I really thought about that because it's so hard with MS to know where we'll be in 4 years! I hate this!! Not knowing if I'll be able to even be considered for opportunities like this or not.
So it's been tough. I feel really bad leaving, because I feel like I'm abandoning my boss who is just so wonderful!! And my very good friend who is in HR for our company. Some of these people are so marvelous, it's almost hard to believe there are the nasties in the same company.
But that same "very good friend" told me to love myself and take care of myself. So I am and will be moving forward.
Hopefully I can get through the rest of December without anymore colds and without bawling my eyes out at work.

I really appreciate everyone's comments from my last blog. I felt exceptionally good when I read the latest one - I'm very glad that my blog helped someone else feel better! That's why I blog anyway!! And you all always make me feel better too! Just to be able to let it out really helps.
By the way, to the last blogger - I hope you can find a neurologist who specializes in MS. I wish you the best and keep up the search. You'll feel much better being able to communicate to someone who understands - or at least tries. :-)

Happy Holidays to all of you!! Please keep safe, warm, and cheerful!!


Anonymous said...

Hello Pamela,

always be careful around this time if year.

Last time I had an exacerbation it was caused by an inappropriate immune system reaction to contracting the flu.

Stay healthy ... and let the rest take care of itself.

Anonymous said...

Switching jobs ... good for you. Really! I did the same and I regret not doing it sooner. Hopefully, we will hear more from you now and not when the vicissitudes of healthy allow you.

Anonymous said...

I hate being sick! I wish you luck in your new job. Sometimes you just gotta cut the noose and move on.