Thursday, August 13, 2009

Strength - not for the faint of heart

It has been so long since I wrote. I've been going through relationship issues. Not the best time in my life. The MS - well, it's still there. I think the fact that it's there is why I'm so scared of my future alone. Wondering who would ever love an overweight, 42 year old woman with more facial hair then she should have.

I spoke to a very good friend today and my (still) husband. They both told me that I'm strong. I tried to explain that every since being diagnosed I've slowly been feeling more and more scared of my future and actually maybe needing someone to take care of me.

I'm a control freak. I like to be in control and for the first time I lost it. My heart lost it too. And now I have to gain it back and push the fact that I have MS out of my mind and not let it deter my future.

So - maybe I'll start with a daily affirmation on here. Or at least a weekly one.
Today's is - I'm a beutiful loving woman, courageously loving myself and trusting others. YIKES! That's a new one!

I am also going to dedicate a lot more time to my babies. My son is in Kindergarten now and having a rough time. I hate that. I want to make them feel safe - even if I don't. :(

I also realize - My son doesn't really understand what is wrong with me yet. I don't want him to think sadness is a big part of his life since I am always sad. My poor kids. :(

Well - I'll repeat my affirmation - "I'm a beautiful loving woman, courageously loving myself and trusting others."

I hope anyone who reads this still can do an affirmation too. Take care!

1 comment:

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