Monday, December 07, 2009

I got "hugged" today

At least I think I did. And I'm starting to think I get partially "hugged" a lot. That numbness in the middle of my back that feels really tight, I think that may have been an MS "Hug".
But today I felt it big time. It felt like it started in the back and went all the way to the front, but the pain in the back was worse. It wasn't just tightness it was also pain.

So that's how things have been lately with the good 'ol MS. I had a good scan in the summer, but my body doesn't read those scans so doesn't really care when the doc says everything looks good. My immune system says, "Ha-ha!! I'll see about that!" Then I get a cold or my period and Voila! Slam right in the right arm with numbness every day, pretty much. I can't hold a fork sometime the numbness is so bad. I've had the pain down the left leg for over a month. Since it doesn't seem to be as bad so far this week, I'm hoping that ones going away. But the hug, well, it was a couple of hours ago and I've been too busy to look it up. Isn't that funny?

It feels tight still - but not like it did when it happened. When it happened I remembered hearing Montel Williams talk about it and I remember thinking at the time, I've never had that thank God! Well, I think I knew right away what it was. So I looked it up. What I found said that it can be in one side or the other or both. So I'm thinking, some of those other numb back feeling are partial hugs! Awwww - I love hugs!! But I'll skip these if I may! :D

We're so close to Christmas and I can't wait and my kids are absolute terrors and I know its because they're spoiled rotten and they just KNOW they'll get all that they ask for :( I'm a horrible mom! I just want them to appreciate it and have fun and think it's special. They've heard enough fighting around here.

Poor Kate had to help me get up the other day and my Will came to help too. Needless to say they have a lot to deal with for 9 and 5 year olds. :( So I want this Christmas to be really happy for them.

I know I didn't stay with the affirmations. It's hard to come up with positives when you're deep in the negative. But I'm trying again.
So how 'bout this one - "I am a loving, huggable woman and loving mom who is looking forward to a happy Christmas". Like that huggable part! Heck I even hug myself. LOL!! That's just not really funny - but it is!

I hope you're all well. Please take care! If I don't write back before the holiday, please have a wonderful safe, happy and healthy Holiday and NEW YEAR!!


Lisa said...
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ashley said...

my name is ashley and i am 13. my mother has ms and i think you remind me of her. your blogs are very inspirational and i think you sound like a great mother. your blogs are greatly appreciated. happy holidays =]

Pamela said...

Thank you Ashley! I'm glad my blog helps! And I hope your mother is doing really well. You sound like a wonderful daughter! Please take care and stay strong!