Sunday, January 17, 2010

It's so exacerbating!

I'm still in the middle of this exacerbation/relapse/glitch, etc. It hurts to type - my fingers are still numb. I'm on 1200mg a day of gabapentin and taking Darvacet for pain -and ambien so I can sleep.
I do feel like a zombie from the drugs. The drowsiness is horrendous - but I'm like not sure when I wake up when I'm awake and when I'm still sleeping. Whatever that means? :$ So unsure of what I'ms aying too. YIKES.

I've been having issues getting help :( But my parents have come over today to be here through Tuesday. I need to get work done.

Also, my kids have been horrible - but I think it's because of my situation and I cry a lot :(.
I'm a wretched mom. That my daughter has to help me open things like a bottle of water and the door to the basement. She told me today that she was kind of sad about having to do that. But then she said it was because she felt bad for me. :(

I want my kids to be happy and unspoiled. And I really wish they would stop fighting and whining.
I also want my body to work again :(. I so wish my fingers came back to life again - without the numbness, the stabbing tingling pain.

I also feel horrible because I shouldn't complain. The people in Haiti are suffering and it's awful. I watched CNN last night when they showed them pulling a 15 year old who was trapped out. How horrible. I'm so glad she survived. She had been trapped for two days I believe. I shouldn't complain.

I hope you're all well.
Take care.

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